may you find comfort

When you go through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers; they will not go over you; when you go through the fire, you will not be burned; and the flame will have no power over you-
Isaiah 43:2.

All my love. All my prayers.

perceptions

Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your warm greeting. -Mother Teresa

It's not what you look at that matters, its what you see- Henry David Thoreau

unleash the flood gates!

cue oprah segment with sad music seeping into the scene and someone recounting their story of survival admist a grainy background. the seven-year-old me (same face but with pigtails) looks over at my mom only to see her eyes welling up with pools of water just waiting to fall in streams. seconds before i had just been talking to her and all was normal, or so i had thought. my mom always seemed to have the ability to do this- instantly tear up at any given moment, and i remember being so in awe of this superpower of hers. try as i might, the magic tears could never just fall instantly- but they surely followed when i got into trouble, had a nightmare or when my brother found some fun way to use me as his WWF doormat.

twenty something years (let's really not do the math here) later, it seems that i have finally developed this superpower, and its becoming, well, all-enveloping and yes, even slightly embarrassing. getting old has been the theme of many of my blog posts, and lets face it, its lending itself to this one too. ahhh! seriously, i can walk by the pet store at the mall and be magnetically drawn to the doe eyes of a puppy just waiting for a home, or watch in dismay as someone frantically runs to catch their bus, only to just miss it by a mere seconds, or spot a lonely forlorn glove laying on a busy street, that's lost its partner as people keep walking by without acknowledging its existence... and yes, i will start tearing up to all of the above scenarios. forget tv- every other segment is just itching to start my water works. id especially like to say to the makers of extreme makeover: home edition how does your writer/researcher function without Kleenex's strapped to their bodies when creating all episodes? weddings, family events, sunsets, prayer= guaranteed tears. and recently, i've spent the last few weeks driving home from work, listening to meaningful lyrics and those pesky tears will begin their slow descent down the sides of my cheeks.

dont even get me started on my kryptonite: an old person. a bent-backed old man could be walking by, and my heart dips, and my eyelids start anticipating the pursuit of steady rush of tears. thats all it takes- a mere walkby by an old person! i become putty in their leathered arms, and if they told me to do something crazy like sit next to them, not uttering a single word and just stare at a blank wall for 10,000 hours, i would sooo do it without hesitation.

whats bringing on this onslaught? and why now? ive found myself trying to find the answers. you know, when someone asks the question, 'what is your favorite trait about yourself?', i can quite confidently say that one of those redeeming qualities that God has so graced me with, has been an ability to really empathize with others. and as of late, my new friends- my tears, have taken this to make sure they accompany moments where i can feel especially in-tune with a person, emotion or thing.

this is certainly not by accident and i finally get why my mom had the ability to cry so easily at the oprah scene so many years ago. its because she connected to that person, their story, their moment on a deeper level. it finally dawned on me, that my newfound superpower is one that should really be seen for what it was: a superpower! my tears shouldn't be reason for any sense of embarrassment or weirdness. in fact, when it comes down to it, ive realized something amazing about them, my tears don't hold me back from anything-- its really quite the opposite....

my tears make me feel alive.