i miss writing, or in my case, rambling endlessly. it's one of those things that i used to love to do, but routine things slowly start stringing together to create a regiment that is hard to break out of. someone mentioned i hadnt blogged lately, so yes, here i am.
saturday marks another year older, and more importantly, the last of my twenties. ahhh! for a girl-woman (lets face it, this is how i label myself!) this is a majorly gagtastic deal. i usually use my birthdays to reflect on my past year, more so than new years. its crazy how much can happen in a year. i think about where i was last year during this time, and where i am now. its been a good year- a year of new beginnings, a year of some endings and in general a year of personal growth.
gone are the childhood dreams and the feeling that life should happen in its proper stages. if that were true by 29- i'd be the brown tina fey, writing sitcoms about the awkward situations i get into, and living in a brownstone in NY with two adorable chubby babies and my awesome husband (also a george clooney lookalike and a diehard skins fan). in present reality i can most certainly check off: being involved in awkward situations. i guess i realized about two/three years ago that just because things dont happen in the stages you want them to, it doesnt mean you shouldnt be happy with where you are.
it really is all about how you look at the situation. this piece of advice goes a long way.
hey, so i may not be tina fey BUT i do have cool glasses and can make non-famous people laugh; i dont live in NY, but i live in DC- still a culturally vibrant city to be proud of; i dont write sitcoms but i still work in television, where i've always wanted to be; i get to hold, visit and love some seriously adorable chubby babies; and my awesome husband will come along...whenever he freakin chooses to show up. lol.
im 29 and im loved, the best gift i could be given (insert your gaggers here). i have a lot of amazing people in my life - my family who is there for me unconditionally, and my awesome friends who are my outlet for laughter and understanding. people that teach me everyday that life is more than about than about checking off the stages or accomplishments- it's about being resilient when faced with devestating news, having faith in each other and God, bouncing back when trust is broken, and it's about loving, laughing and celebrating what you got.
i give a lot of myself to the people that i truly care about. i share my joys, my thoughts...myself pretty openly. some people may see this as a weakness and yes, it does leave me in situations where i am taken advantage of. but this year i have learned, that i will not be in situations where i am the only one giving. perception vs. reality is actually a very thick and a very distinct line, and that is something i have realized. learning the truth about a situation can be enlightening or disappointing, but...it is still the truth. and thats something that the older me has finally learned. a little less dreamer, a little more realist? perhaps, but i can accept that. ill always have some tinkerbell still left in me.
so this weekend, i'll say a toast to you all, laugh a lot, be thankful, and drink to another year of the life i've been given.
this concludes my afterschool special post. i really AM turning into kevin arnold!
"You start your life with a clean slate. Then you begin to make your mark. You face decisions, make choices. You keep moving forward. But sooner or later there comes a time where you look back over where you have been....and wonder who you really are"- The Wonder Years